Happy Birthday Hallie and CJ!

Two years ago today I gave birth to our twins Hallie and CJ. It has been the fastest two years of my life! It has been filled with sleepless nights, unparalleled joy and tears of happiness, guilt, fear and fatigue.

They were born C-section. Hallie came out first and surprised us with her little cleft-lip. CJ came a few minutes later and had the face of Curious George. I've called him my little monkey since. Hallie weighed 4 lbs 5 oz and CJ was 5 lbs 14 oz. I still don't know how they both fit inside of me but I do remember how abnormally huge my stomach was. Craig just laughed every time he saw my naked body. In retrospect I'm glad I had him to help me see the humor in my hugely disfigured body.

They stayed in the hospital for 2 1/2 weeks after birth and I remember going to bed every night feeling so empty without them. When they finally came home I began to understand what true sleep deprivation was. 3 a.m. feedings were the hardest. I remember looking over at Craig feeding Hallie, his head bobbing up and down, eyes closed... then before I realized it I was doing the same thing! As they grew it became easier but I still remember many mornings going to get them out of their cribs, sitting in the floor and feeding them then falling asleep on their floor while they crawled all over me. I'd give anything for a few more minutes of sleep.

They love each other so much! When Hallie wakes up in the morning she shouts, "CJ! C JAAAAAAAAAAY!" until he sleepily responds, "No, no, no, no." Apparently he loves to sleep like his mom. They laugh at each other and comfort each other when they're sad. And every time I give CJ a snack he reaches out his other hand and says, "Hallie?"

They are my little miracles. (aren't they all?) We wanted them so badly and remembering how hard I prayed and hoped and dreamed about them makes them even more endearing. Happy Birthday to my sweet little double trouble....Hallie and CJ!

A night in the life of Gracie Bonham

Do you ever have moments when your kids do something that make you go "Wow, I am incredibly lucky to be your mom." Last night was one of those for me. Grace had to do an overnight sleep study at Primary Children's Medical Center. She's always been a terrible snorer and extremely restless in her sleep so her ENT wanted to do the study before he would remove her tonsils. He wanted to make sure there isn't anything else going on that we should know about. It took almost an hour and two grown men to get her all glued, taped and wrapped up for the study...Then she was supposed to go to sleep with all that junk on her! After finishing up with all the probes the guys verbally awarded Gracie with the "Bravest patient of the night award." She just giggled.

Throughout the night I could hear kids down the hall screaming "take it off" and didn't doubt that I might be screaming the same thing if I was in their place. I laid awake staring at the ceiling and thinking about that little girl in the bed next to me. She hasn't always taken these things well. There was a time when every doctor's visit included her kicking and screaming and me crying but slowly over the years she's become accustomed to it all; the poking, sticking and taping. She is learning to take it all with grace....I think we picked the right name for her after all.

Work in progress

My posts are growing fewer and farther between. I think its because of a combination of things: I am hearting the weather lately, spring cleaning is calling my name, and I've begun writing a column 3-4 times a week for examiner.com I love it! I've always loved to write and now I get the chance to do it more often and exercise that part of my brain that has been dormant for too long! I hope you will all check out my site and come back often. I just started so remember that it is a work in progress.