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Tonight I went to dinner with my college roomates. I love friends that you can be away from forever and then get together with and it feels like you haven't skipped a beat. It was that kind of night. Since Craig's been away so much I've been pretty tied down here at home. Getting out tonight was really good for me but the crazy thing is that on the drive home (after only 3 hours of being gone) I couldn't wait to see my 4 babies again!
I put Gracie's sleeping body into the top bunk (which is becoming ever so difficult.) I swept her hair out of her face and thought about her excitement every afternoon as she bursts through the door with some cut and paste project.
I pulled the covers up on Lizzie, kissed her soft eyelids and thought about all the responsiblity I put on her everyday. I'm sure that I expect way too much out of a six year old. Her compassion amazes me; her maturity confounds me. She is a blessing.
Next I sneaked into the babies room. As I opened their door their sweet smell made ache for them. I covered Hallie and softly rubbed her back. She let out a little sigh.
CJ was curled up in a little ball in his crib. Much like a roly-poly does when you touch it. When I felt for his binkie he opened his dark eyes and looked up at me. My heart just wouldn't let me walk away. I picked him up and went across the hall and rocked him...his cheek to my heart. With each rise and fall of my chest we rested together. I thought about the first time I saw his beautiful little face. "Curious George" I remember thinking. Three girls and this little man. My patient, content, gentle, cuddly CJ. He has no idea how he's stolen my heart forever.
An amazing weight falls on me everytime Craig and I bring a new baby into this world. It occurs to me from time to time that I have everything to do with who these little people turn out to be. The crazy thing is that I feel like they are the ones shaping and molding me each day. I love being their mother. I know I'm no good at a lot of things and I'm down right terrible at some things.... but the one place I don't have any room for improvement is my love for those 4 snoozing sweeties upstairs.
5 comments:
I love reading your blog! You are the cutest mom! You always make me so happy to be a mom! I really think you are such an awesome person!!! I worry too that I ask too much of Rian she helps me so much! We are so lucky we have such good little six year olds as our oldest! They are really great girls! We need to get them together more!
That was incredibly sweet. You were MEANT to be a mother. I need to take a lesson from you. When I come home at night and my kids are already in bed, even though I WANT to see them, I leave them alone for fear of waking them. Thanks for the reminder that it's no big deal if they wake up. It will give me an extra chance to rock them back to sleep.
You are such an amazing mom! I always look forward to you updates. You seriously make me want to be a better person and a better mother. Thank you. I feel like I put a lot of pressure on Jake as well. I have really enjoyed getting to know you and I'm so looking forward to NY!!!
Thanks for the evening out! It was great to just laugh and chat with good friends.
You are a good mom. You can still gush over newborn babies and laugh at 6 year old humor.
Cute pictures of some very happy kids! You can tell from their smiles that they come very a happy and loved home.
What a cut family!.. I miss you all, I will be over to play soon.
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